Tuesday, June 14, 2011

My Heart Aches

This is going to be a sad post. So, if you are not really wanting to read something down and serious please move along to the next post in your blog reader.

So one of my worst fears is losing my child, even more so losing them to a pool. I have let myself fo down that horrible road of imagining it and what the feelings would be like, the sheer panic and terror. Living in Tucson where it is extremly and brutally hot there are a lot of swimming pools. Every year the news stories stream across my tv and radio. Every year children die in water. It is so horrible and all it takes is 30 seconds of having your mind and watchful eye distracted. Even if there are a lot of people by the pool it can happen- I have seen it almost happen when we have been gathered by the pool because everyone thinks someone else is watching.

Friends this can happen to anyone of us. Not one of us is perfect and I know I have been distracted from my children while we are by a pool.

This past Sunday it happened to a child of a family that goes to my church. She was 2, her name was Olivia. I don't know this family personally, although some of our friends do. But really, I do know them and you do to. It is me, it is you, my heart just aches so much for this family.

I sat on my patio last night exhausted after a long day of work, household work and kids and I was just so tired. But I had both of my babies. I thought about the huge, empty space in that home. I thought about the little bed that would be empty and the heart in that home even emptier. I thought about how I would never be able to eat, sleep, function if that were to happen to me. The family has two other little girls, 4 and 6 and they were there during this all. What do you tell those little girls? Why is this fair? Why them?

I know I love the Lord and I know that the Lords thoughts and plans are far above mine. I can only pray for this family. Pray that they can somehow move through the steps a day, an afternoon, an hour, moments at a time. Will you please pray for them too?

1 comment:

Molly said...

I know the feeling, but the news I heard last month was a 23 year old young man still living at home who took his own life. I never met the family, but word is they are all believers. I have been praying for the parents ever since. It actually make me mad and sad at the same time...sometimes it's a battle that was lost over a soul. In your friend's case, who knows, but I just can't imagine how I would survive. I have to believe that the Lord gives us the ability to go through the things we must without letting it absolutely destroy us like Job.